My academic journey has definitely been a rollercoaster ride throughout the years. I've gone from being a high of being overly excited about school to an all-time low of slacking off and letting my grades suffer. I've never been consistent throughout my school years and while some years are painful to remember due to less-than-stellar grades and a lack of achievements, I have never been ashamed of my past and am still willing to share my story with anyone willing to listen. Everyone has experienced the highs and lows of school and probably have a mountain of stories to tell about them, no matter how embarrassing they might be.
I've been all over the spectrum when it comes to grades-from A pluses to a pathetic F-and yet here I am, at 19 years old, still standing on my own two feet with my whole life ahead of me. I want people to see how I've changed and developed throughout my years to being the college-bound student that I am today. Grades can be superficial; just by looking at my high school transcipt, I'm sure most people would assume that I would have totally blown off college and given up on school completely. But I would like people to see that even after my lowest of lows in school, I perservered and never gave up hope of achieving my goals or believing that I couldn't overcome past failures. My school years began when I was in kindergarten and I'm sure I've got many more to go in college. I will treat my highs just as I treat my lows in this ePortfolio-as points my life that signify who I was at the time and where I was headed in life. This isn't meant to be a shameful story, but rather a strengthening and even enlightening story for those who usually don't hear me say a whole lot. Hopefully, this story speaks for itself.
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50 points. Marissa I'm going to go ahead and give you full points here, but reluctantly, since I think your intro needs lots of work! That said the whole idea here was to write a "rough draft." Now you've got one! My suggestions:
1) Delete the first paragraph and stick to the (briefer, more personal and specific) content in paragraph 2.
2) Remember to introduce yourself to new readers who may not know a thing about you -- and even to those who do know you but have no idea what they'll find in this portfolio. At a minimum you need to say state your name and that you go to Foothill or whatever. It might help to imagine yourself giving a speech or ushering people into the door of your "exhibit hall."
3) Give a table of contents or guide to the eportfolio so people know how to navigate through your site.
4) Say something about the conclusions you will be drawing based on this overview of your highs/lows.
5) See if you can dream up a way to "hook" visitors into wanting to read more of your portfolio right away -- some kind of teaser or preview of coming attractions?
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